How to Keep in Touch with Your Network (Without Being Annoying)

There's a person in my network who emails me every two weeks to "check in." The emails are nearly identical each time: "Hey, hope you're doing well! Just wanted to check in and see if there's anything I can help with." I have nothing to help with. I never do. But the emails keep coming.

This person thinks they're maintaining a relationship. They're actually training me to ignore their name in my inbox.

Staying in touch with your professional network is important. But the way most people do it is either too frequent, too generic, or too transactional. Here's how to do it well.

The Right Frequency

For most professional relationships, here's what research and experience suggest:

Close contacts (mentors, frequent collaborators, key clients): Monthly. A quick message, a call, or a coffee.

Active network (people you work with occasionally, recent connections): Quarterly. A brief email or LinkedIn interaction.

Extended network (past colleagues, event contacts, industry acquaintances): Every six months to once a year. A holiday message, a congratulations on a career milestone, or sharing something relevant.

Anything more frequent than monthly starts to feel like an obligation for the other person. Anything less frequent than once a year and you're essentially strangers again.

The "Reason to Reach Out" Framework

The "just checking in" email is the worst tool in networking. It puts the burden on the recipient to come up with a reason to respond. Most people won't, and your email dies in their inbox.

Every time you reach out, bring a reason. Something specific that makes the email worth opening. This is easier when you captured context at the time of meeting. If you scanned their card with Nexio and added a note about your conversation, you have that context ready.

Good reasons to reach out:

• You read something that reminded you of a conversation you had. "Saw this article about remote team management and thought of your talk on distributed teams. Link here."
• They did something worth acknowledging. "Congrats on the Series B. That's a big milestone."
• You have something useful to share. "Just published a case study on the exact problem you mentioned struggling with last time we talked."
• You want their input on something specific. "We're considering switching to Figma from Sketch. I remember you went through that transition. Any regrets?"
• You can make an introduction they'd value. "I recently met someone working on accessibility tools for enterprise. Thought you two should connect."

Notice what these all have in common: they're specific, they reference something real, and they don't ask for much (or anything).

The Anti-Pattern: Don't Only Reach Out When You Need Something

Everyone has that person in their network who only appears when they need a favor. A referral, a recommendation letter, a job lead. And then they disappear again until the next time they need something.

This is the fastest way to erode a professional relationship. People notice the pattern, and they start dreading your name in their inbox because it always comes with an ask.

The fix: reach out four times for every one time you need something. If you've been consistently helpful, sharing interesting links, making introductions, commenting on their work, then when you do make an ask, it feels natural rather than extractive.

Use Social Media as Low-Effort Maintenance

Not every touchpoint needs to be an email. LinkedIn comments, reactions on posts, and brief congratulatory messages all count as "staying in touch."

When someone in your network posts about a work accomplishment, leave a genuine comment. Not "great post" but something specific: "Nice work on this. The part about reducing churn through better onboarding is something we've been exploring too."

This takes 30 seconds and keeps you visible in their professional life without requiring a full email exchange.

The Birthday and Milestone Trap

LinkedIn tells you when someone has a birthday or work anniversary. It's tempting to send a quick "Happy Birthday!" to dozens of contacts.

Don't send it to everyone. Send it to people you actually know and have a relationship with. A birthday message from someone you haven't spoken to in three years feels hollow. A birthday message from someone who sent you a useful article last month feels genuine.

Same with work anniversaries and promotions. Congratulate the people you actually care about. Skip the rest.

Keep Notes

You can't stay in touch effectively if you can't remember what you last talked about. A simple note attached to each contact transforms your outreach from generic to personal.

"Last talked March 2026. She was considering a move to product management from engineering. Ask how that's going."

That note turns a "just checking in" email into "Hey, how's the product management transition going? Have you made the move?" which is a much better email.

Whether you keep notes in your phone's contacts app, a spreadsheet, or Nexio (which lets you add notes when you scan a card), the format doesn't matter. The habit of recording context is what matters.

The Annual Audit

Once a year, go through your professional contacts and ask three questions about each person:

1. Have I talked to this person in the last 12 months?
2. Would I feel comfortable reaching out to them right now?
3. Is there a reason we should stay connected?

For the people where the answer is "no" to all three, let the connection go. Not every professional relationship needs to be maintained forever. Some connections served a purpose in a specific time and place, and that's fine.

For the people where the answer is "yes" to at least one, reach out in the next month. A quick, specific, genuine message.

That annual audit takes about 30 minutes and ensures your network doesn't silently decay while you're busy with day-to-day work. And the audit is much easier when every contact was scanned with Nexio and tagged with context from the start.

Related: Follow-up email templates that get replies and LinkedIn networking that works.